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About Literature / Student Jesse Leo Lily RoseOther/United States Recent Activity
Deviant for 6 Years
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Mature content
Innocence :iconthatrollwhoeatsyou:ThaTrollWhoEatsYou 0 0
Literature
Bittersweet Confessions
I know it has been months. Despite the fact that it feels like decades. And I have never for a second had a moment without you in my head.
You used to be what I dreamed about. Now you grace my nightmares. You taunt me. Bending your finger to say: "Come hither," enticing me with your tantalizing smile.
That smile of yours. The smile that can bring men and women of any stature to their knees. They would easily confess their undying love to you. Just like I always had. So what made me different?
You chose me, Once upon a time. I belonged to you. I had no desire to belong anywhere other than in your arms. And the sound of your voice still echoes in my head. "I love you."
Three very powerful words. Words that have driven men to madness for centuries. Words that can make me lose myself in the ocean of your eyes. Those beautiful eyes that promise "tomorrow will be better." Your eyes always gave me hope.
I can't look into your eyes anymore. What have I to hope for? What can I grab onto and hol
:iconThaTrollWhoEatsYou:ThaTrollWhoEatsYou
:iconthatrollwhoeatsyou:ThaTrollWhoEatsYou 1 0
Literature
I Found Your Name
I found your name.
It was barely visible on my pale skin, where I carved it years ago, right where I left it. I did that when I lost you the first time.
I never thought that I'd keep losing you. That you'd keep slipping from my grasp everytime I got just a little bit too close. And every time I would extend my fingers to graze your skin, you were further than I had calculated.
I'm still reaching out. Do you see me? Can you hear my voice? Calling out your name. Echoing in the distance, like drops of water after a storm, dripping into a puddle.
Can you feel me? Can you feel my breath against your skin? On the back of your neck, where you once would get goosebumps at the warmth of my body.
I found your name. I had to look hard because my skin had healed in the span of all those years when I had all the hope in the world. That we were destined for one another. How I was bound to you and you to me and the rest of the world was just a blur of images that didn't make any sense to us, because
:iconThaTrollWhoEatsYou:ThaTrollWhoEatsYou
:iconthatrollwhoeatsyou:ThaTrollWhoEatsYou 5 0
Literature
LoveSlave
So I can't hold your hand
    So I can't whisper in your ear
         So I can't brush my lips on your neck
Chills travel across my body
     I whimper when I'm dreaming of you
           Spasms embrace me with the anxiety of my mind
Who exactly am I?
  A minion of chaos?
     A slave to your love..
I am..
You make me this person..
A carrier of doom
To all that I formerly believed
:iconThaTrollWhoEatsYou:ThaTrollWhoEatsYou
:iconthatrollwhoeatsyou:ThaTrollWhoEatsYou 6 0
Literature
What point is there in gender?
I am not a damsel in distress
   I am not going to wash your feet
       With long golden locks, on my knees
   Crying out to you so that, one day,
You can accept me as I'm not
I don't want to be a woman
   I do not wish to become a man
       I choose to free myself from gender
   I choose to be me and not her
I choose to differ from him
I guess I'm in the middle
   I guess I'm not there at all
       I guess you can say I'm no one
   I guess I'm not even writing
I guess your wasting time
:iconThaTrollWhoEatsYou:ThaTrollWhoEatsYou
:iconthatrollwhoeatsyou:ThaTrollWhoEatsYou 10 0
Literature
I Would
I would take your hand
   And waltz you around the room
       If I could only reach you somehow
I would whisk you away
   From all these unkind people
       If I could just build up the nerve
I would whisper in your ear
   Ever so quietly on your neck
       Every urge you bring forth in me
I would bring you joy so unimaginable
   And your heart would rejoice with mine
       And we would lay, once again, side by side
:iconThaTrollWhoEatsYou:ThaTrollWhoEatsYou
:iconthatrollwhoeatsyou:ThaTrollWhoEatsYou 9 17
Literature
Sleep
Oh sleep!
Why do you share your glory,
Naught with me?
Why do you not cease your fleeing,
Whilst I follow you along the path
To the land where the dreams be?
Why do you tease me with fragments
Of what could be sweet relief
To my humble heart?
Why do you prevent me
From being one with you?
My precious long-forgotten sleep...
:iconThaTrollWhoEatsYou:ThaTrollWhoEatsYou
:iconthatrollwhoeatsyou:ThaTrollWhoEatsYou 3 5
Literature
Species Unidentified
I'm looking in the mirror
Whose body is this?
Is this me?
Do I even have these sexual organs?
Who is this person looking back at me?
This person whose eyes wander my unclothed body..
I've fallen to the floor..
So has she..
Is she mocking me?
I feel cold..
My thighs..
My.. parts..
I'm wet..
I look down..
What is this liquid?
I touch it..
My fingers, wet..
I study this crimson substance covering me..
Is this what they use to define me..
A woman..
What is a woman?
A label plastered across my body?
A sign turning me into a target?
Is that all I am?
Prey for man?
Is he stalking me now?
Hunting me like a lion?
Planning to imprison me as a spouse?
Make me do his bidding?
I think not!
I reach my fingers to the back of my throat..
Give back my meal..
Stop the bleeding..
I'm no woman..
Nor a man..
So what am I?
A species unidentified?
A creature unobserved?
A subject to study?
I choose to be no one.
:iconThaTrollWhoEatsYou:ThaTrollWhoEatsYou
:iconthatrollwhoeatsyou:ThaTrollWhoEatsYou 15 12
Literature
MLK wasn't the only one who could dream
I had a dream
You were there
And so was she...
Yes even her
I was dying
Not a very sad thought really
You were holding my hand
Telling me to stay
I knew I couldn't
You begged me not to leave you again
She stayed by your side
In the way I couldn't
I looked up and smiled at both of you
I didn't want to go
Not truly
But it was my time
I took her hand in my free one
And thanked her
For taking care of you when I couldn't
For easing the pain I had caused
And to continue doing so
And with those words
I left you
One final time
:iconThaTrollWhoEatsYou:ThaTrollWhoEatsYou
:iconthatrollwhoeatsyou:ThaTrollWhoEatsYou 6 13
Literature
Heartbreak
To find out the one you love
The one you thought would wait
Gives up
Moves on?
Well, I can't stop shaking
My voice comes out a crack
The lunch I didn't eat is threatening to crawl up my throat
But even worse?
It's my own fault
I couldn't handle it
I couldn't leave everything behind
They broke me
Like I was a wild horse being tamed
But still...
You gave up
You were the last person I expected that from
I thought we were in love
Just when I thought I was close again
I find out you've moved on
You referred to me as the past
And with my friend
I can't hate her
Why me?
Why us?
Why us who get cursed in our love?
Am I right to expect you to still love me?
Is it wrong to want you to forgive me?
How could I expect you to wait?
How could I be so stupid?
:iconThaTrollWhoEatsYou:ThaTrollWhoEatsYou
:iconthatrollwhoeatsyou:ThaTrollWhoEatsYou 7 0
Literature
Since the Beginning
Two winters and a summer without you
Just one day in-between
A day filled with anxiety and fear
I wish I could rewind my days
Past the tear-filled nights
And the blood-covered arms and legs
Past the blood-shot eyes
To the first time I had a chance
We had a chance
Didn't we?
Could we have kept it all in secrecy?
Would that have been right?
You deserved me in complete
What if we ended it before we fell in love?
Would that have been possible?
What if we were in love since the beginning?
What if it always would have been too late?
:iconThaTrollWhoEatsYou:ThaTrollWhoEatsYou
:iconthatrollwhoeatsyou:ThaTrollWhoEatsYou 1 0
Literature
How
I know I left
Without giving so much as an explanation
I've looked back many times
Thought of what I could've done differently
But I'm weak
You wander the fields of my mind everyday
I shouldn't have left things that way
I shouldn't have left
I should be with you
But how?
How do you start a life from scratch?
How does a girl become a woman?
How do you leave everything behind?
:iconThaTrollWhoEatsYou:ThaTrollWhoEatsYou
:iconthatrollwhoeatsyou:ThaTrollWhoEatsYou 1 0
Literature
Demons
I'm making calls
Asking around
Looking for ways to get out
To get back to you
You
Yes, that's it isn't it?
You are the reason
Why I'm searching for something
Something I never can find
But that's not the only issue
Do you even want me?
You may have given up on hope
The thing that bound us together
Does it still exist?
Did it leave the box?
Along with all our demons
Because thee are more know
I never thought it possible
Yet life keeps finding ways to contain me
To keep us apart
To change your mind
But it can't make me forget
Not how it feels to love
And have it returned
I'll never forget
:iconThaTrollWhoEatsYou:ThaTrollWhoEatsYou
:iconthatrollwhoeatsyou:ThaTrollWhoEatsYou 1 0
Literature
Why Would You?
I'm hearing just your voice
But you're not calling out to me
I've told you I love you
But done nothing to prove it
I promised I'd come back
But I don't know where to go
How would it work?
What can I do?
Would you take me back?
Why would you?
:iconThaTrollWhoEatsYou:ThaTrollWhoEatsYou
:iconthatrollwhoeatsyou:ThaTrollWhoEatsYou 3 0
Literature
Spineless
It's hard to breathe
Everything returns my mind to you
I only find escape in the words I breathe
Where's my spine though?
Did they take it?
Or was that just you?
It kills me not to know
What you're feeling and believing
Because I've caused so much pain
Things remain the same
We're in the same place as last year
Except I can't see you
:iconThaTrollWhoEatsYou:ThaTrollWhoEatsYou
:iconthatrollwhoeatsyou:ThaTrollWhoEatsYou 4 0
Literature
Not Emotionally
Have you moved on?
Am I not in your heart?
I know not how to answer them
Because I don't even know if I am single
I'll never abandon you
Not emotionally anyway
I should be by your side
I should be stronger than this
Who am I?
It gets more unclear each day
I'm a liar
A heartbreaker
I don't deserve you
You deserve better
But never will I leave you
Even if you leave me
:iconThaTrollWhoEatsYou:ThaTrollWhoEatsYou
:iconthatrollwhoeatsyou:ThaTrollWhoEatsYou 1 0

Favourites

Literature
Beautiful

  Sometimes I forget who I am.
Sometimes I want to cut away every inch of hair and,
     I want to throw all my clothes away and I want to
        Bleach my scars away, and more than anything I  want to
      Find myself lost thousands of miles away and I
             Wish I was someone else,
Someone better.
   These are the moments where I've forgotten who I am.
  There are moments where I hold pride in my scarred skin and,
      I find pride in my chipped teeth and
             I find pride in the blues of my eyes and I don't see my eyes as
               Soul sucking pools of gray; but
                       An endless see of what COULD possibly  be
 And I've learned to never question tomorrow because
 
:iconRainbows-And-Velvet:Rainbows-And-Velvet
:iconrainbows-and-velvet:Rainbows-And-Velvet 1 0
Literature
You

  I've been there and,
    I've cut my hair and my flesh and
I've learned that promises come and go,
  And I've learned
That I'm okay being alone.
And I've learned that,
  I don't  have to be alone.
Because I have you, and you've always been the only thing I've ever wanted.
       
:iconRainbows-And-Velvet:Rainbows-And-Velvet
:iconrainbows-and-velvet:Rainbows-And-Velvet 1 0
Literature
Love

You are not like any bit of
  Solid mass I have ever touched.
     You are fluid.
             And sometimes I
                Fear that if I am not careful,
                            I may drown in you.
:iconRainbows-And-Velvet:Rainbows-And-Velvet
:iconrainbows-and-velvet:Rainbows-And-Velvet 1 0
Literature
More of you

    Your demeanor was always,
           What attracted all the girls to you.
               Tough as nails-
 
                 Hard as a rock-
             
                      And cold as ice.
But behind all that,
          Somewhere behind it all
                       Is where I find comfort
                             And I curl up,
       Safe. Protected. Loved.
                             So whenever we're alone,
 I remind myself;
            I get to see
    &
:iconRainbows-And-Velvet:Rainbows-And-Velvet
:iconrainbows-and-velvet:Rainbows-And-Velvet 1 0
Literature
Everything I could ever

I've made a lot of
  Silly mistakes in my life.
  I've got quite a story-  
            But your story out writes mine for days.
For weeks.
      For months.
 For Years.
For every walk of life I could ever imagine,
    I never thought I would be comfortable.
Content; maybe.
         I thought I'd be
 Content but never
          Happy.
I've never
        Felt happiness
           Before.
I've never known what
         /love/ is supposed to feel like.
I've never know what
   
                   Being wanted could feel like.
Till now.
 Through every sly smile,
  Through every playfully little wink,
        And Butt-Grab
Every time you
    Stood up for me and my
     
:iconRainbows-And-Velvet:Rainbows-And-Velvet
:iconrainbows-and-velvet:Rainbows-And-Velvet 1 0
Literature
Not Real

I've been waiting for three years,
   But I'm going to make the time literal
 And only apply to now because it
      Would appear better in your favor.
I've been waiting for three and a half hours
    To get you to pay
      Some attention to me.
       But it's okay;
 I didn't want to go out with you,
         Anyway,
             Don't mind me,
I'll just stay here locked  in the
         Confines of my bedroom
           That feel more like a prison than a home.
But I have the option to leave,
           And nowhere to go.
And I'll stay here and wait because,
   Your words will still echo in my mind
        Every time I step outside.
                  "You didn't really
 
:iconRainbows-And-Velvet:Rainbows-And-Velvet
:iconrainbows-and-velvet:Rainbows-And-Velvet 1 0
Corinne-Kerii  Plus by remyfotos89
Mature content
Corinne-Kerii Plus :iconremyfotos89:remyfotos89 55 0
Corinne-Kerii ...les griffes plus. by remyfotos89
Mature content
Corinne-Kerii ...les griffes plus. :iconremyfotos89:remyfotos89 75 10
Lack by shauntiamodel
Mature content
Lack :iconshauntiamodel:shauntiamodel 694 25
Literature
Aiyana
Desert butterflies thread
their yellow in your hair
and play tick-tack-toe
with the rainbow belt
you've tied around your middle
as you sit on the hood
of my station wagon and
talk about the seductive
lights of faraway towns.
I love imagining the star-fall
under those skies and
the taste that lingers when
we kiss at midday with
the heat and apple gloss
sticking to our tragic mouths.
Aiyana, you are a tease
sometimes, then not;
agreeing to run away
then making excuses
to stay here and strum
on age-old guitar strings
and spin plastic dreams
from your grandmother's loom,
selling mismatched threads
to naive tourists all over
the penny-tinted Southwest coast.
Tell me what I'm missing
by not being with you, girl.
Sometimes I can't imagine
ever waking up without
the chime of your spider web
dream-catcher above my head
and the silky feel of
your Navajo black hair
and sunset-smudged skin
lying beside me.
But for some reason,
I think that you're
not as embedded
in my night as
I am in yours
and is
:iconautumn-spirit:autumn-spirit
:iconautumn-spirit:autumn-spirit 6 5
Literature
The Right Words
I’d like to write a poem for you about how much I love you but every time I try I can’t seem to find the right words. I don’t think there are any, at least that I’ve come across, that really capture how I feel…they all seem inadequate somehow.
I need a word that describes how when I see you, my heartbeat picks up and my day seems brighter. And when I hear your voice my insides become a swarm of butterflies, pushing at every angle trying to get out. Or how when you give that crooked little smile of yours, and let out that powerful, unbridled laugh my cheeks flush hot and red.  And when you talk I can’t stop imagining every detail of what your lips would feel like pressed against mine.
I need to find a way to describe how when I see you on that screen, more than a thousand miles away yet right in front of me, I feel more helpless and powerless than I ever thought possible. How I want to hold your delicate little hands in mine and lace up our fing
:iconWildflowerLovepotion:WildflowerLovepotion
:iconwildflowerlovepotion:WildflowerLovepotion 5 2
Literature
Iron Butterflies
Daybreak was smeared across the upstairs window
like frosting on a week old cake.
I woke up with the feel of your august fingers
on my temples, rubbing circles
the way you used to do when I was nervous.
It was comforting but now it haunts me.
Jamie, I'm mad at myself for dreaming of
ghosts in maroon sweaters.
It only means that I'm dwelling on this;
on the shadow that you left behind,
living inside its cold attic chest,
breathing out stale carnations through silvery lungs.
I miss you, Jamie..
I miss the iron butterflies you used to paint
across the still barren walls of our new house
on Olivia Drive.
Those creatures used to resurrect at night and
excite me with
the fluttering of their trans-Atlantic wings.
You laughed when I rolled up the carpet
and suggested we dance on my birthday
after everyone had gone home.
You said I could have anything
and that's what I wanted most;
a private moment with you in my arms
and a song; preferably "You and Me"
playing lazily in the background.
I didn'
:iconautumn-spirit:autumn-spirit
:iconautumn-spirit:autumn-spirit 8 21
second dance... by FeliFee second dance... :iconfelifee:FeliFee 54 27 Bound and Free by dweebzilla Bound and Free :icondweebzilla:dweebzilla 39 68 Gentle by serasfan
Mature content
Gentle :iconserasfan:serasfan 45 14
Right Here on the Floor by Pfefferschwarz
Mature content
Right Here on the Floor :iconpfefferschwarz:Pfefferschwarz 55 4

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Activity


I currently have ten  baby dreadlocks at the base of my neck. Thanks to a conversation yesterday I feel like they look better than all the other ones I've done.
  • Listening to: Genesis by Grimes
  • Reading: The Argonauts by Eliza Orzeszkowa
  • Watching: Batman Begins
  • Playing: Guitar
  • Eating: Avocados
  • Drinking: Blueberry juice

deviantID

ThaTrollWhoEatsYou
Jesse Leo Lily Rose
Artist | Student | Literature
United States
I'm a genderqueer pansexual, meaning I don't classify myself as male or female and I'm attracted to basically anyone despite their gender identity or orientation or anything else. Simply put I'm a HUMAN attracted to HUMANS. I don't have one definite religion, I have quite a few religions, which are too much to list. I like to keep my mind open, but i won't accept one religion over all others.

I'm sorry if I dont thank you if you fave one of my deviations. I don't have time to comment on EVERY faver's page, but I AM grateful. So I thank you in advance.

And I really dont want to ask. but, if you would like to give me some points i will gladly accept.

Here are some stamps that either express my views or I just find completely hilarious...


Zen Stamp by cejohnson356Proud Vegetarian by scaret:iconvegetarianstampplz::iconvegetarianstamp2plz:Vegetarian by anastasia-blackOn my bed by prosaixStop Flattering Yourself by endlerVegetarian by steffne:thumb273653720::iconimgoodinbed1plz::iconimgoodinbed2plz:Curiouser and Curiouser-Stamp- by cos1163Peace Stamp by morestarinatthestarsVegetarian Stamp by Naaya-NekoMake peace not war stamp by MissNooys-Resources:thumb307161135:DA Stamp - Peace 01 by tppgraphicsPro Vegetarian Stamp by bettenoir87Anti war Stamp by Sidarta<img width="99"
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:iconwildflowerlovepotion:
WildflowerLovepotion Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Hey, I know this is super belated but thanks for the fav! 
I super appreciate it! <33333
Reply
:iconthatrollwhoeatsyou:
ThaTrollWhoEatsYou Featured By Owner Oct 14, 2013  Student Writer
No prob, Hon.
Reply
:iconpfefferschwarz:
Pfefferschwarz Featured By Owner Sep 10, 2013
Thanks so much for the +fav ! :D (Big Grin)
Reply
:iconthatrollwhoeatsyou:
ThaTrollWhoEatsYou Featured By Owner Sep 11, 2013  Student Writer
You're very welcome!
Reply
:iconthatrollwhoeatsyou:
ThaTrollWhoEatsYou Featured By Owner Sep 10, 2013  Student Writer
What a unique and lovely way to thank someone!
Reply
:iconfantasynerd:
Fantasynerd Featured By Owner Aug 30, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
thank you for adding Dear Dad to your favourites.
Reply
:iconthatrollwhoeatsyou:
ThaTrollWhoEatsYou Featured By Owner Aug 30, 2013  Student Writer
You're welcome. It was beautiful. Best wishes for you and your father.
Reply
:iconpyroshadow18:
PyroShadow18 Featured By Owner Aug 25, 2013
Thank you for adding If I could to your faves. I appreciate it.
Thank you.

~Josh~
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